Endings and Beginnings

A little about me… Hi, I’m Andrea!

A long time ago, about 12 years ago now, I found myself in the same situation as so many people do. I felt bad about myself, my life, and my commitment to God. I would go to church and feel guilty and like I was missing something. I felt like I never measured up and probably would never, no matter how much I tried. I felt like I’d disappointed God on every conceivable level. I couldn’t tell when he was speaking to me, I hardly spent any time in the scriptures, and when I did, I didn’t understand them. Prayer was often the last thing I thought about, literally as my eyes would shut for the night, the thought would cross my mind that I should probably pray. Sadly, the only time I consistently prayed was right after I’d yelled at my kids, I’d feel guilty and turn to God to repent and ask for help. I went about my day putting out fires and barely keeping life together, and let’s be honest, keeping life together is a relative term, and looking back, I would say that the only one I was fooling was myself.

With that frustrating cycle day after day, I found myself getting really bogged down with low self worth. I felt so disappointed with myself and knew God must be mad at me. I thought that there was no way he could still possibly love me as I repeatedly messed up, day after day. As I yelled at my kids, wasted my time, stayed out of touch, and lived in survival mode.

I mean, what was to love? I was gaining weight at a record pace. I knew how to take better care of myself but I couldn’t seem to do it. I was in serious debt and in a failing business. I had married outside the covenant, and though my relationship with my husband was great, I found myself feeling like God was mad at me for not being married in the temple and following the path prescribed by my leaders.

I was yelling at my kids, losing my temper with my husband, and felt so bad about myself all of the time. My relationship with myself was poor and everyone else suffered because of it.

I felt so unlovable, unworthy, unprepared, and truthfully, without joy. I could feel sparks of joy here and there but most of the time, I felt like I was in a perpetual state of punishing myself, because that’s what I deserved for living below my potential.

You know what I learned twelve years ago? I learned that I was 100% wrong and if today, you feel like I did, let me assure you, you are wrong too. Hopefully that sentence does not bring you anguish but it brings you hope, because I have learned that hope, faith, and charity, are truly the way to live this life with intentionality and joy. I just needed to learn what they really meant.

When I began this journey so many years ago, I found a tool that taught me to look at things in the gospel with a more sound, truthful and healthy paradigm. I began to practice what I was learning and I can tell you with certainty that my life and my perspective have completely changed. I am no longer the person I described above, and if you know me well, you know what I mean. I live each day on purpose, with love, hope, and faith in the future. I feel the love of God around me always. I feel strengthened in my weaknesses and the relationships I have with myself, my family, my friends, and all things feel very harmonious and peaceful. All of these opportunities come from learning about the atonement of Jesus Christ and learning to apply it in my life. The eyes of my understanding have been opened and I can truly see so much more than I could ever see before. I am blessed to have the Holy Ghost as my constant companion and I live in gratitude for the time I’ve had on this Earth and the experiences that have led me here.

About 3 years ago I was going along practicing living the gospel and working the soil of my little life, caring for things with love, the best I could, when I had the unmistakeable prompting to share the paradigm I had learned so many years ago. I was instructed to teach people how to find hope, joy, peace, charity, and most of all faith in our darkening world. After serious talks with the Lord, I came to the understanding that he felt that as long as I had the Spirit with me, which I always strive to do, I was a suitable guide and so, I began this work. It started by ending a business I loved to embark on a new journey. A journey with twists and turns I never could have imagined. Online course creation. The journey has led me so many places and has taught me so many things. One of the most important things I’ve learned is how to listen. The past few years I’ve been collecting information, asking questions, meeting new people, and discovering new things. As I have listened and spoken with so many of you, I have found that the Lord knows what he is doing and he really will guide the willing.

An online course, entitled Developing a Christ-Centered Life began and though the name is long and has a hyphen (not my favorite), it’s what the Lord would have it named. Though it’s concepts seem simple, they are deep and they are led by the Spirit of the Lord and they will do the trick. Though I am a convert from California just doing my best, the Lord has brought this work out of me and I know with a surety that there are great works above and beyond mine, living inside of you. I didn’t think I’d do something like this and I’m still trying to figure out how to make all of the pieces work, but I do love the Lord and trust in his perfect love and understanding. He will continue to lead me along. He’s never taken me somewhere I didn’t rightfully belong. I feel as if I’m a guide. I will mark the way but it will be up to you to look out at the vistas, to notice the beauty, to do the work to make your life what it ought to be.

Anyway, the labor of love I’ve been working on for the Lord is finally ready after two and a half years of doing and re-doing. It is the beginning of a four part course entitled, Developing a Christ Centered Life. Part One (the part that is ready) is all about learning to manage your inner world, or those beliefs about who you are and who God is and who you’re supposed to be. President Ezra Taft Benson said, “The world would mold men by changing their environment. Christ changes men, who then change their environment. The world would shape human behavior, but Christ can change human nature.” Part One is all about letting Christ change your nature.

I have loved working on this project and especially the the things I’ve learned from the Spirit about the needs of my brothers and sisters in this world today. As I talk with many of you, I am surprised at how many of you say the very things that the Spirit led me to include in the class. Some of the topics many of you struggle with from day to day are the very things I knew by the Spirit needed to be in here. So, please trust me when I say, I was an instrument in the process, and unfortunately, a very dull one for most of it. The Lord worked through me and will work through me still, as long as I stay open. 

If you have ever felt the desire to have a deep and abiding relationship with the Savior and to see things from a different perspective. One that sets you free from obligation and teaches you how to live your life out of love for the Lord, I’d invite you to look into the course I humbly offer,

“Developing a Christ Centered Life: Unit 1 Managing Your Inner World”.

Your life will improve, your relationships will improve, and your commitment to the Lord will improve steadily. Day after day, here a little, there a little, you will find yourself stepping out of this world, into the life that God has in store for you.

The class is self paced, easy to access, reasonably priced, and totally transformational.

If you’d like to be held accountable, we also run the class during the Fall and Spring. Fall Semester begins September 7, 2019.

Tell your friends and your family, join the class, and discover hope again.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *